Flower on the Hill

If you’re single or in a relationship, I’d bet good money that at some point along the road you have asked yourself what it would be like if you’d stayed with an ex. Usually this is a fleeting thought that never amounts to anything more.

Today I had a glimpse into what my life may have looked like if I had chosen to stay with an ex-boyfriend. We’re on fair terms; we didn’t speak for years and now we have a very casual, shallow relationship. We dated more than 6 years ago. I realize now that I didn’t know this boy as well as I thought I did at the time. Today he is a stranger. He’s a stranger with whom I share a history and funny stories and memories.

I used to see this boy as my first love and staying true to everything ‘they’ always say about a person’s first love, I’ve always held a bit of a tender spot for him. Today I got a fresh understanding for how young and naive my heart was. Yes, he’s a good guy and yes he was my first love - but he was never meant to be someone who I’d spend my life with. He could never have completed me the way my husband does. A history and funny stories and memories could never be enough.

Maybe we’ll stay friends for many more years. Maybe we won’t. I’m glad to see that he’s doing well - but I know that my life couldn’t have been better in that “what if” fantasy.

My life is the best it could possibly be. Now.